无老师优秀范例:With the rapid development in internet, computer and other technologies, people have more and more options for their career path as well as working locations since these developments shorten the distance between different people and companies. Therefore, there is universal awareness that working at home with accompany of computer and telephones is better than working in a normal office. However, in my opinion, such statement cannot afford further analysis for the following reasons. 无老师优秀翻译:随着互联网的高速发展,电脑和其他的科技,人们对于职业的发展和工作地点的选择有了更多的选择,因为这些发展缩短了人和人、以及公司之间的距离。因此,很多人都有这样的想法,就是在家工作,在有电脑和电话的陪伴下,比在正常的办公室工作要更好。但是,在我看来,这样的想法其实经不住进一步的推敲,因为如下的原因。 无老师平庸范例:With the development of the internet, computer and other technology, people have more options about the job development and work place, because these development decrease the distance between people and people, and between a company and another company. So many people believe that working at home with the computer and the telephone is better than working at the office. But, in my opinion, these ideas could not afford thinking, because of the following reasons. 无老师精析:在互联网里有一句话,叫做“创意不值钱,执行才值钱。一流的创意加三流的执行,就是个垃圾。三流的创意+一流的执行就是优秀产品”本篇优秀范例和平庸范例就是一个很好的注解,仅就内容来说,可以说平淡无奇,但是由于作者很好的调用了各种优秀的表达,使得本篇作文最终接近满分。 第一句,优秀范例With the rapid development in internet, computer and other technologies, people have more and more options for their career path as well as working locations since these developments shorten the distance between different people and companies.对比平庸范例With the development of the internet, computer and other technology, people have more options about the job development and work place, because these development decrease the distance between people and people, and between a company and another company.其实一开始的With the rapid development in internet, computer and other technologies并没有很大的差别,但是必须承认的是,作者跳出了很多模板里所写的With the rapid development in internet,又写出了computer and other technologies,这算是一种突破! 其实优秀范例的people have more and more options for their career path as well as working locations since these developments shorten the distance between different people and companies.特别出彩!一看就想让人给高分!首先more and more接的是options,我们平时总接people,这里options就是一个突破。后面的career path和working locations写的地道!加分!后面的shorten the distance看似平淡无奇,但是在对比平庸范例的decrease the distance就发现,decrease配distance其实是中式表达。以及最后的between different people and companies.也是没什么,但是对比平庸范例的between people and people, and between a company and another company.就会发现原来我们平时像平庸范例一样写的这么啰嗦。 第二句,优秀范例Therefore, there is universal awareness that working at home with accompany of computer and telephones is better than working in a normal office.对比平庸范例So many people believe that working at home with the computer and the telephone is better than working at the office.我们会惊讶的发现,原来many people believe还可以写为there is universal awareness,加分!有趣!快找个小本记下来!其后with accompany of我们自己写的话,经常也就写个with the help of,没这个表达方法好,记下来! 最后一句,优秀范例However, in my opinion, such statement cannot afford further analysis for the following reasons.对比平庸范例But, in my opinion, these ideas could not afford thinking, because of the following reasons.这里优秀范例的such statement虽然很不起眼,但是其实很好,因为一个such直接就是对前文的指代,一下就使得两句话的逻辑连接了起来,解决了中文缺少语义连接词的问题,写得特别好!虽然很不起眼。当然,最大的亮点还是在afford further analysis,表示“经不住进一步的推敲”,写的地道!让人忍不住击节叫好!直接可以用在我们的作文纸中表示反对观点,粗暴的加分!这种酸爽的感觉,挡都挡不住!至于平庸范例的could not afford thinking,东施效颦,让人不忍直视!