无老师优秀范例:However, apart from connective ability, there exist more valuable and essential qualities in successful people. In the first place, people have to be persistent to the career they have chosen in order to achieve the peak of their lives. For instance, Madam Curie had already stayed in her humid laboratory with her husband for 10 years before she discovered the radial element and got nominated for Noble Prize. What's more, a creative mind is also unavoidable. Without the great creativity, Steve Jobs would never be able to transfer magnificent idea in all those products like imac and iphone, which totally change the life styles of people, and he would never be the greatest CEO in the past ten years. Last but not least, a great sense of responsibility is the necessity especially for successful businessmen. Success can never be gained by oneself, and he need more helps from others. The patience must be paid to overcome all the difficulties on the path to success, and they must be responsible for their companies as well as their employees so that the whole team could stay together to win the final fight instead of breaking up. 无老师优秀翻译:但是,除了沟通的能力,这些成功的人身上,还有更多必不可少的重要品质。首先,人们如果想实现个人的成功,就必须坚守在自己选择的岗位上。比如说居里夫人,已经跟丈夫在潮湿的实验室里坚守了10年,在他发现放射性元素之前,并且最终获得了诺贝尔奖提名。不仅如此,创造性,也是必不可少的。如果没有创造性的话,乔布斯永远都不可能将伟大的想法转化成那些无敌的产品,比如说iMAC,iPhone,这些产品完全改变了人们的生活方式,否则他也不可能成为过去10年最成功的CEO。最后,极大的责任感也是非常重要的品质,对于一个成功的商人来说。成功不是依靠自己一个人就能获得的,他需要其他人的帮助。人们必须有足够的耐心来克服通向成功道路上的所有困苦,他们必须为公司和员工,负起责任,只有这样整个团队才会凝聚在一起,来赢下最终的战役,而不是分崩离析。 无老师平庸范例:But, except the communicating ability, these success people have more very important thing. First, if people want to make personal success, they must stay on his own position. For example, XXX have stayed in the humid laboratory for 10 years with her husband, before they found the radial element, and made the Nobel’s nominate. More than that, creativity is very important. If they do not have the creativity, Jobs would never make their good idea into real products, such as iMac, Iphone, these products totally changed people’s life style, or he could not be the most successful CEO in the past 10 years. Last, great responsibility is also very important for a very successful business man. People could not make a success all by themselves, they need other people’s help. People have to have enough patience to beat each difficulty on the way to success, they must take responsibility for their company and employee, and this will make the whole team come together, and this will win the final war, but not fall apart. 无老师精析:无老师每一次的作文巨讲堂,都是找满分作文,来将其作为原稿,然后翻译出中文译本,一对一的直接翻译。然后再根据中文译本写出平庸范例,力求平庸范例写的越烂越好,尽可能模仿出低水平的考友们的真实状态,因此里面会有很多中式英语,语法错误以及诡异的表达。当然也因为整体是按照优秀范例的中文译本翻译过来的,因此难免有些内容与优秀范例十分的相似。 对于小伙伴们来说,当看作文巨讲堂的时候,一定要非常明确一点,就是看一场NBA比赛,与打一场NBA比赛,是有非常大的差别的!我们看懂一场NBA比赛是非常容易的,但是打NBA是对于能力要求非常高的。而当我们看懂作文巨讲堂的时候,其实也仅仅是看懂了NBA的水平,这距离我们真正能写出这么好的作文,还是有非常大的差距的!因此小伙伴们在看作文巨讲堂的时候,不能仅仅满足于看懂作文巨讲堂,仅此而已,而是应该,把作文巨讲堂的优秀内容,拿个本子记下来,争取背下来,而且接下来,在自己的作文中,要真正地把作文巨讲堂的优秀素材用到自己的作文之中,这才真正体现出作文巨讲堂的价值,也就是你可以真正的去打NBA了,而不是仅仅在旁边看热闹。 首先第一句,优秀范例:However, apart from connective ability, there exist more valuable and essential qualities in successful people.对比平庸范例But, except the communicating ability, these success people have more very important thing.在这里,优秀范例和平庸范例首先体现出的,就是单词量的差异,平庸范例只能写出except,但是优秀范例用到了apart from,这就是加分点!接下来,优秀范例用到了并列结构valuable and essential,而不是像平庸范例一样,按部就班的用very important,这就非常的传统,感觉是小学生也能写出的作文。这里虽然表达的同样都是“很重要”的意思,但是优秀范例写出了重要的2个侧面分别是“价值”和“必要性”这就显得很新颖,而且很细。这就要加分。 第二句,优秀范例In the first place, people have to be persistent to the career they have chosen in order to achieve the peak of their lives.对比平庸范例First, if people want to make personal success, they must stay on his own position.在表达“首先”这个意思的时候,优秀范例先亮出一招固定搭配“In the first place”,起手式,漂亮!其后,在表达“坚守”的时候,优秀范例没有想平庸范例那样用stay,而是亮出自己的单词量,一个“be persistent to“,告诉读者,本大侠的单词量很赞哦!而且接下来用career,来展现自己的格局还是很大的,自己要展现的是“整个职业生涯”而不是单纯的一份不知什么时间就会消失的“工作”。而且在这里,作者为了增加句子的多样性还加了一个从句they have chosen,是的,就是这么傲娇!更傲娇的是,作者觉得总用success,已经太俗套了,于是从锦囊之中挑出一个achieve the peak of their lives,放在了桌上!简直风骚的让人不敢直视啊!快抄在小本上! 第三句,优秀范例For instance, Madam Curie had already stayed in her humid laboratory with her husband for 10 years before she discovered the radial element and got nominated for Noble Prize.对比平庸范例For example, XXX have stayed in the humid laboratory for 10 years with her husband, before they found the radial element, and made the Nobel’s nominate.优秀作文,你狠!竟然能记住居里夫人的英文名字是Madam Curie,有本事你在考场上也写出来!然后,优秀范例写的就很细致了,当然也有一点演义,因为谁知道那个实验室是否是真的humid,但是当作者用出这个humid的时候,就很让我们有身临其境的感觉,加分!而且本句更大的亮点是将before she discovered………放在后半句,相应的,用前半句来突出居里夫人曾经的坚守。至于后面的radial element、got nominated for和Noble Prize都是作者来秀一下自己的单词量,就跟健美比赛之中秀肌肉,来显示自己的能力是一样的。 第四句,优秀范例What's more, a creative mind is also unavoidable.对比平庸范例More than that, creativity is very important.在这里优秀范例,又荡开一笔,引出一个新的主题What's more,然后接下来creative mind其实不褒不贬,算是还好。倒是接下来的unavoidable用的很赞!为什么赞?很简单,看一下平庸范例的important,我们就知道,原来unavoidable必不可少的,其实在这个语境下,就是important的意思,赞!避免用了枯燥的important,确实该给高分! 第五句,优秀范例Without the great creativity, Steve Jobs would never be able to transfer magnificent idea in all those products like imac and iphone, which totally change the life styles of people, and he would never be the greatest CEO in the past ten years.对比平庸范例If they do not have the creativity, Jobs would never make their good idea into real products, such as iMac, Iphone, these products totally changed people’s life style, or he could not be the most successful CEO in the past 10 years.在本句,优秀范例一开始就开始发力,一个Without,貌似没什么,但是反观平庸范例的If they do not have,你是不是,哇就吐了!反过来再怜香惜玉的看一眼Without,禁不住亮出了自己的大拇指?然后,优秀范例竟然又搬出了乔布斯,俗!不过还算有用,毕竟ETS也不管你俗不俗。其后,优秀范例would never be able to,在不破坏句子节奏的情况下,扩充了句子的长度,不错。然后,优秀范例的transfer magnificent idea写得不错,想得很细,而且还能调动单词量给表达出来。最漂亮的,就是接下来的非限定性定语从句, which totally change the life styles of people很好的断开了句子,让句子读起来不会很累,而且还点出了前半句话的意义和作用所在。然后,一个小细节,优秀范例做得很漂亮,就是接下来的, and he………这里的and其实起到了逻辑上的顺承的作用,否则就很有可能是生硬的用上so这样的逻辑连接词了。最后再承接前面的would never,这里用到了would never be,漂亮的收尾! 第六句,优秀范例Last but not least, a great sense of responsibility is the necessity especially for successful businessmen.对比平庸范例Last, great responsibility is also very important for a very successful business man.恩,知道了!知道了你的小本上记了很多固定搭配,这里又来一个Last but not least。然后,作者又是很骚气的写出了a great sense of ,恩!有味道!请注意平庸范例写出的,也仅仅是great responsibility。然后作者又臭屁了!傲娇的用出了necessary的的名词词性necessity,牛!我们用不出来,给你加分!随后作者又觉得自己臭屁的不够,因此又特意强调,这是especially for,“特别”是针对成功的商人来说,非常的重要,显得自己的针对性很强,很细致。 第七句,优秀范例Success can never be gained by oneself, and he need more helps from others.对比平庸范例People could not make a success all by themselves, they need other people’s help.在本句之中,最大的亮点是在于句型本身,请注意,本句是以Success开头,而不是像我们很多人一样,是用人来做句子的主语的,虽然用you完全是没有问题的,但是这种句式难免口语化,而且也很容易句型单一化。最后,其实用success这种词来做句子的注意,也很容易把句子写的很简洁,当然,这都是需要我们慢慢练习的。 最后一句,优秀范例The patience must be paid to overcome all the difficulties on the path to success, and they must be responsible for their companies as well as their employees so that the whole team could stay together to win the final fight instead of breaking up.相比于平庸范例People have to have enough patience to beat each difficulty on the way to success, they must take responsibility for their company and employee, and this will make the whole team come together, and this will win the final war, but not fall apart.作者在本句话又帅气了一次,也就是又用The patience作为句子的主语,与前一句话的妙处异曲同工,然后接下来的overcome在此处用的恰到好处,什么叫做“不恰到好处”?很简单,看一下平庸范例,你就知道了。接下来的接近于固定搭配的on the path,也是很妙的应用,要记下来。 其后,作者调整了一下节奏感,接下来继续扫射,be responsible for这个固定搭配我们都能想到,但是接下来的并列结构their companies as well as their employees,就显示出作者写得很详细,同时词汇量也不错,算是个加分点。然后一个逻辑承接,导出结果so that,这里的so that以及后面的final fight都可以算是单词量的体现。当然,这里最漂亮的还是最后的instead of,首先这里没有用生硬的not,来进行否定,其次,最后的breaking up直接省略了后面的宾语,也是写的非常简洁,相比之下,这里如果写为but not break up their companies as well as their employees,是不是马上就显得十分的啰嗦。 再美的美人,也需要比较,你说是不!^_^