无老师iBT新托福作文巨讲堂(2014年12月号)

无老师优秀范例:“To spend, or not to spend: that is the question.” When it comes to government expenditure on space project, the debate in both the community and the common world has come to a vogue. Should government spend a considerable amount of money on exploration of the universe, as asserted by scientists, scholars, and government officials; or should these money go to more pressing issues of the day, as the poor and the miserable maintains? As for me I commit to the notion that space technology, though impractical at first glance, is of vital importance to humankind, and is therefore worthy of our taxes. 无老师优秀翻译:“剁手,还是不剁,这是个问题”当涉及到政府对于空间探索的投资,坊间关于这一点的争论已经甚嚣尘上。政府应该把很多钱花到空间探索上么,就像科学家,学者和政府官员所宣扬的那样;亦或者应该把钱花在今天更迫切的事情上,比如说穷人救济和低保户的救济?对我来说,我赞成空间科技,虽然乍看上去不是很实际,但是其实对于人类来说很重要,我们的纳税花在这上也更值得。 无老师平庸范例:”To spend, or not to spend, that is a question” When we talk about spending money on space travelling, there are a lot of questions on this. Should the government spend money on space travelling, just as scientiests, scholars, and governments said; or should they spend the money on others important things, just like giving money to the poor people and disabled people? For me, I will support the space travelling, although they are not real, but they are important for people, our taxes should invest in them. 无老师精析:本文的作者,应该特别符合广大中国考生的口味。原因有3点:第一,思路正统,完全按照我们书写的套路来写,首先引入出题,然后列出两方意见,最后给出自己的意见。第二,写得好模仿。开头就是万能的To be, or not to be的变体,容易磨坊。第三,有用,好模仿。come to a vogue,comes to这样的固定搭配。 好了,话不多说,亮家伙!第一句,优秀范例“To spend, or not to spend: that is the question.” When it comes to government expenditure on space project, the debate in both the community and the common world has come to a vogue.对比平庸范例”To spend, or not to spend, that is a question” When we talk about spending money on space travelling, there are a lot of questions on this.首先优秀范例能想到用To be, or not to be这样的表达方式本来就很赞,而且想一想,这个貌似是可以作为万能开头的。就是把be,spend换做主题词,就可以作为任何一篇作文的开头。很漂亮!接下来,有时我们的老朋友,固定搭配“it comes to”拿出来替代土土的when we talk about真是太赞了!而且本文的作者,一大优点就是词汇量够凶悍!“expenditure”“space project”“debate in”用词都还蛮书面化的,加分!而且接下来的“the community and the common world”虽然直译过来,中文没有很大差别,但是稍有一点出师表之中的“宫中府中俱为一体”的感觉,又是显示出自己的词汇量的强大。而且优秀范例最后的come to a vogue,赞~\(≧▽≦)/~!不仅因为优秀范例没有落入俗套的用popular,而且作者在用vogue这个词的时候,也没有用他的形容词词性,而是用了它的名词词性,这个是很漂亮的。 第二句,优秀范例Should government spend a considerable amount of money on exploration of the universe, as asserted by scientists, scholars, and government officials; or should these money go to more pressing issues of the day, as the poor and the miserable maintains?对比平庸范例Should the government spend money on space travelling, just as scientiests, scholars, and governments said; or should they spend the money on others important things, just like giving money to the poor people and disabled people?在本句之中优秀范例的优点在于两点,第一点:是在于句型结构的多样性,第二点是在于词汇量的丰富。结构的多样性在于2点,should这样的疑问句,而不是我们平时常用的陈述句,第二点as asserted by也是我们平时不常用到的句型。接下来再说词汇,当说到空间探索,写的是exploration of the universe,而不是前文中用到的space project,赞!然后接下来,某人说,没有用平庸范例的scientiests, scholars, and governments said这种表达方式,而是用了比较少见的过去分词的表达形式,再加一分。后半句pressing issues这个表达方法用的地道!赞!充分显示了作者平时阅读量的丰富!至于最后的miserable maintains这就厉害了,虽然不是特别的地道,但是能用到miserable这个词,这就厉害了!这可是《悲惨世界》名字之中所用的词汇。每一个词拿出来都是加分点。这么多加分点,不拿高分都难! 最后一句,优秀范例As for me I commit to the notion that space technology, though impractical at first glance, is of vital importance to humankind, and is therefore worthy of our taxes.对比平庸范例For me, I will support the space travelling, although they are not real, but they are important for people, our taxes should invest in them.其实在这里对比平庸范例就能看出来,当表示“我支持XXX”的时候,我们总是在用I support或者I agree with,但是在本文之中作者用到了地道的As for me I commit to the notion that,加分!而且更漂亮的是后面,though impractical at first glance这个从句不仅用在句中,而不是句首,而且还用到了at first glance这样精细打磨的表达方式,这已经不仅是词汇量丰富了,这里还体现出作者论理的精如发丝,先退一步,然后进而击之!漂亮!而且本句话最后的表达方式也非常的灵活!is of vital importance,想一想,我们平时最常用的也就是very important,在这里坐着不仅用到了be of vital,而且还把我们常用的形容词important用到了名词形式importance,加分!至于最后一部分,其实最大的亮点是在于作者已经跳出了英翻中限制,已经开始直接用英文的表达方式来表达,因为按照中文的语序,翻译过来的表达方式应该像是平庸范例的our taxes should invest in them.但是优秀范例用的是is worthy of进行连接,结果our taxes做的是宾语,这就是每一种语言都有自己的表达方式,想写的好的话,都要慢慢的记住对应的英文的表达方式,而不是做生硬的词对词的翻译,这是要通过多阅读多思考,来积累的。 敲下这最后一行的时候,2015年新年钟声即将敲响,小伙伴们,新年快乐!么么哒!