无老师iBT新托福作文巨讲堂(2015年08月号)

无老师优秀范例:First of all, one property of modern technology is latently harmful to any learning mind - it distracts. One thing we feel about when we are searching for information online is that the internet, as an outstanding example of modern technology and even regarded as the innovator of education, provides us with not only relevant results to make use of, but also external links to click. More than once I turned on my computer to check school library for resources, but ended up watching Youtube videos. In this case, computer as a representative of modern technology plays a negative role in learning information. We do acquire more information with the convenient tool, yet most of them are irrelevant and in the end procrastinating would lower our learning. 无老师优秀翻译:首先,现代科技的一个特点,是在于它对于任何一个热爱学习的心,都是有潜在的伤害的,就是因为他很分神。我们在网上搜索信息的时候,我们会感受到一点,就是互联网本身,作为一个现代科技的杰出的例子,甚至也被认为是教育的创新者,不仅仅提供给我们需要的信息,同时也会给我们提供一些其他的链接来点击。不止一次,我打开电脑来查大学图书馆的资源,但是却以看网络消遣视频为结束。在这个例子中,电脑作为现代科技的代表,对于学习知识起到了负面的作用。我们确实会获取更多的知识通过便利的工具,但是大多数都是无关的,最终拖沓会使你学到的更少。 无老师平庸范例:First of all, modern technology’s characteristic is that it is potentially hurting any learning heart, because it distracts. When we search for information, we can feel that, the internet itself acts as a good example of the modern technology, and the internet also is considered as the innovator of the education, and it not only provides our needed information, but also provides some other links to click. More than once, I opened my computer to find the university library’s resource, but at the end I watched the youtube video. In this example, the computer acts as the representative of the modern technology, has the negative effect for the learning. We will have more information by the easy way, but most of them are not relevant, and at the end the procrastinating will make you learn less. 又是一年夏去秋来,在不同人的眼中,时间两个字是有很大的差别的,对于婴儿来说,时间是下一次吃奶之前需要消磨的时光;对于学生来说,时间是又是一年开学时绝望的等待;对于白领来说,时间是周一周五,一忧一喜的两个时间节点。对于托福考生来说,时间是每周三刷开网页那一刻,过线或者不过线的终极审判。 其实每次一的作文巨讲堂,优秀范例都是无老师搜集来的满分作文,无老师优秀翻译都是无老师进行的翻译,平庸范例,都是绞尽脑汁,能写的多差,就写多差的糟糕范例,主要是为了衬托优秀范例高大上的形象的作用。因为万事都需要对比,因为没有对比,再优秀的人才,我们都会觉得他貌不惊人。 今天的优秀范例,真的是大开大合的典范之作!里面不仅有深若寒谷的深刻思想,还有劈山开河的浩瀚长句!看到赚到!学不到,真亏了! 首先第一句,优秀范例:First of all, one property of modern technology is latently harmful to any learning mind - it distracts.对比平庸范例:First of all, modern technology’s characteristic is that it is potentially hurting any learning heart, because it distracts.开头句的First of all,显然都是标配,不褒不贬。对于我们来说,放心拿来用,不要有任何心理负担。接下来,优秀范例的主语用的也是比较书面化的A of B的连接方式,而不是像平庸范例一样采用‘s的表达方式,好!加分!接下来,harmful写的也是非常讲究的!其实稍微想一下,就会发现,我们很容易很泛泛的写为bad for或者negative to这样的表达方式,但是优秀范例没有进行这样的选择,而是用了harmful,虽然不是特别漂亮,但是好在显示自己能驾驭的单词非常的多,这就是加分的亮点!最后,再来看本句的“- it distracts”看似不就一个破折号么!但是实际上再对比平庸范例就会发现,其实一个简简单单的破折号,在这里就极为简洁的表达出了“因为”的这层含义,而且还使得本句话的连贯性变得非常的好!当然在这里必须要说的是,优秀范例本身写的就非常细腻,其实我们回头看一下就会发现,在本句话之中,property,latently和any这些词,如果去掉的话,其实完全也是可以的,但是,加入本句之中,就使得本句话写得特别的饱满,这是优秀范例与平庸范例的一个极为明显的差异! 第二句,大招来了!优秀范例One thing we feel about when we are searching for information online is that the internet, as an outstanding example of modern technology and even regarded as the innovator of education, provides us with not only relevant results to make use of, but also external links to click.对比平庸范例When we search for information, we can feel that, the internet itself acts as a good example of the modern technology, and the internet also is considered as the innovator of the education, and it not only provides our needed information, but also provides some other links to click.首先本句话,优秀范例前半句提到了internet,这是为了与本段第一句的modern technology做一个呼应,说明我们继续都还在讲相同的主题,这是很多考友经常犯的错误,要注意!我们写英文的时候,经常就是前后两句话缺少明显的连接词,使得考官在看的时候,看的是一头雾水。我们再来细看的话,就会发现,优秀范例有意的通过两个从句we feel about与when we are searching for information online将主语One thing和系动词is分开,极大地丰富了本篇文章句式的多样性,双拇指点赞!这还是刚刚开始,接下来一个that引导的从句,又是故技重施,通过并列结构as an outstanding example of modern technology和even regarded as the innovator of education,再次将主语the internet与谓语provides分开,一句话之中竟然能故技重施,连用两次分割大发,真的是让人看得目瞪口呆!而且在最后,为了让自己句子长的更有气势,竟然还用上了not only,but also结构来进行最后的收尾,真的是让人惊得下巴都要掉下来了! 这是总体的结构,如果我们再用显微镜细看的话,就会发现这句话不仅很长,而且还很有韧性!很有嚼头!首先,在不算not only,but also的情况下,本句一下就用了3个固定搭配searching for、regarded as、make use of,一看就是文化人啊!出口成章的感觉!有木有! 其后,一堆细节性的描写!Online、outstanding example、innovator of、relevant results、external links以及最后的to click。其实我们再来看,就会发现,如果这里没有online,outstanding,innovator,relevant,external,以及to click的话,这句话的内容仍然可以表达全,但是就是因为加入了这些细节性的修饰,使得本句话亦变得非常的丰满!这就好像是,你说安吉丽娜朱莉很漂亮,我们自己写的话,就是写:很漂亮,容貌端庄,嘴唇性感。但是如果是在优秀范例的笔下,很有可能就会变成:一双电眼,犹如两潭湖水,深不见底,在我看到的第一刻,就已经沦陷,陷入了她那温柔的水潭。这样写,写的就饱满了! 第三句,优秀范例:More than once I turned on my computer to check school library for resources, but ended up watching Youtube videos.对比平庸范例More than once, I opened my computer to find the university library’s resource, but at the end I watched the youtube video.首先,More than once,我们就很少用到,快拿个小本记下来!“不止一次”,只要这个一说,我们就好像听到评书演员醒木一拍,我要开书了一样,超有代入感的,有木有!然后,表示“打开”这个概念,作者用的也是turn on,而不是像平庸范例一样用了open,也是显示了自己的单词量,接下来,又是表示“搜寻、寻找”这个概念,作者没有继续用search for而是换为check,作用同上,就是来秀单词量的!最后,又是以一个固定搭配end up结尾,都是固定搭配!这个作者有学问!好!双拇指点赞!而且本句话细读一下,也是很有趣味性,一开始是来查资料的,结果却是把时间都花在了youtube看视频上,人性如此,十分可信,而且还有些许幽默感。 第四句,优秀范例In this case, computer as a representative of modern technology plays a negative role in learning information.,对比平庸范例In this example, the computer acts as the representative of the modern technology, has the negative effect for the learning.当然,优秀范例,开头还是要跟前文进行连接,In this case,说明我们还是要解释前面一句话,而且,这句话还说得很地道!好!记下来!接下来,优秀范例,又再次很细致的写出了representative,说这是作为“现代科技的代表”,不仅显示出自己的单词量,还再次加深了自己的描写非常细腻这一印象!最后又用一个固定搭配plays a negative role进行结尾,好吧好吧好吧!怕了你了,给你双拇指点赞,疯狂高分好啦! 最后一句,优秀范例:We do acquire more information with the convenient tool, yet most of them are irrelevant and in the end procrastinating would lower our learning.对比平庸范例We will have more information by the easy way, but most of them are not relevant, and at the end the procrastinating will make you learn less.作者还是对自己不满足啊!优秀范例,一上来就又用一个强调句式do acquire来求高分!接下来的with the convenient tool,也是写得非常简洁!想一下就会发现,我们很容易写成when we use convenient tool,we will ……作者没有这么写,而使用了更简洁的with的模式,加分!当然,这里的the convenient tool还呼应了前文的computer。然后,most of和in the end再一次体现了作者写得非常细致的特点,还是那句话,试一下就会发现,他们去掉的话,对逻辑和句子的完整性没影响的。直至最后,procrastinating作者在再秀了一下自己的单词量之后,以一个非常小,但是在这里用的很活的词lower,我们平时也就是将其当做low形容词来用,但是在这里作者竟然用到了他的动词词性,写得非常漂亮!赞~\(≧▽≦)/~! 本篇优秀范例之中,作者首先是通过自己丰富的阅读量,积累了无数优秀的素材,然后再有意的将内容写得更细致更深入,来让自己的能力有一个展示的空间,最后再辅以多样化的句型,而实实在在造就出一篇超满分范例!双拇指点赞!无老师爱你们!么么哒!